Q'sPaper
by Half-Finished Fics
Summary: what if Q ran a newspaper? kind of spoof, expect TNG, TOS, and VOY references. an expiriment, dont know if i will continue with it.


**hey, yeah, i know its probably a horrible idea to start another story when i have so many other unfinished ones. but i couldnt help it. this is just an expiriment, i dont know if i will be able to continue with it. BTW, i have seen TOS, TNG, and VOY, so expect references from all of those. tell me if i slide out of character too much.  
><strong>**enjoy ;)  
>-"Irene"<br>**

Headline:

_Q GETS A NEWSPAPER!_

The amazing fantastic Q gets a newspaper, and we sit down for a super-exclusive interview!

Other Stories:

A Mess In The Mess Hall, The Leola Root Disaster.

Q&Q:

Nobody's had the chance to ask me any questions yet, so there will only be details about it here.

Irene's Updates

Ads

0000000000000000000000000  
>HEADLINE<br>0000000000000000000000000

Q GETS A NEWSPAPER:

The amazing, fantastic Q has gotten a newspaper, and I got to talk with him for an exclusive interview!

Q: so Q, why did you get a newspaper?

Q: oh, I don't know really. I thought humanity might benefit from my opinions. And there are so many interesting stories to investigate, so many interesting people to interview.

Q: what kind of stories will you do? Will your readers recognize them?

Q: oh, they might recognize some settings and stereotypes, I don't know if I will ever cover stories shown in actual episodes or not. I might, who knows.

Q: and what about interviews? Any hints for who will be interviewed?

Q: nope, afraid I cant give any. But I promise it will be very exciting.

Q: I understand. Will you ever have any more sections in the paper?

Q: of course! I will eventually have things like "Crew Evaluations" and "spacial anomally report", as well as a section for jokes and riddles. But for now I will be starting small.

Q: I see. Will you ever do a cooking segment?

Q: oh! Cooking! Yes, I forgot about that one. I will probably do a cooking segment eventually.

Q: what is the section called "Irene's Updates"?

Q: oh, the person who is allowing me to post this on their fanfiction account is only doing so if I give updates regarding her stories. I might also give my own opinion on them.

Q: so how often will this paper be updated?

Q: whenever I feel like it.

Q: of course, time is different for Q.

Q: quite.

Q: well, that's all the time we have. Thank you for reading this wonderful interview with my dear friend Q!

0000000000000000000000000  
>Other Stories<br>0000000000000000000000000

A Mess In The Mess Hall, The Leola Root Incident.

Red alert, Medical Emergency, security to the mess hall. The event which the crew is referring to as "The Leola Root Incident"

I spoke with the man who supposed to be the cause of the Incident. Lt. Thomas Ugene Paris.

"I'm innocent!" says Paris, "it was Tuvok!" I would have learned more, if I had not been unceremoniously ejected from sickbay by a rather smug EMH.

"I had little to do in this crime" says Tuvok, "the last thing I remember was a soup bowl flying at me."

I asked Kes if she had any idea. "my telepathic abilities seemed to have an allergic reaction to this new recipe" the Occampa admitted, "things got a little crazy after the tables melted."

I then asked Neelix if he knew about the reaction, "oh, it wasn't just Kes I'm afraid. I believe the captain started singing in Klingon after just a sip."

Janeway, however, denies this incident. Saying, "I never went in there, the smell of the soup went all the way up to the bridge. I didn't think I wanted to be in close proximity."

I was curious about the warp core breach that has been tied to the incident, so I asked engineer B'Elanna Torres. The only answer I received was, "Get out of my way, P'tach!" as she bowled me over to get to a console.

Again, I would have learned more, but Janeway has made the details of the incident classified. Level 9 clearance.

0000000000000000000000000  
>Q&amp;Q<br>0000000000000000000000000

Welcome to the Question and Q section, aka, Q&Q. nobody has had the chance to ask me any questions yet, so there wont be anything for right now. PM me or leave your question in a review, and I will answer. I suppose I will answer any kind of question, but I prefer Star Trek related questions. To which I can adhere my personal banter without feeling guilty as I would with more personal questions. Like I said though, any questions will be accepted. And I will answer as myself, Q.

0000000000000000000000000  
>Irene's Updates<br>0000000000000000000000000

I believe the term is "Writer's Block". She might need a while to brainstorm the plotlines of all her stories, so apologies for any of you kept waiting. She does feel bad if a story is left alone so long it seems abandoned, and wants to keep updating. But again, you need a plot to update, and right now the plot could go in any number of directions.

0000000000000000000000000  
>Ads<br>0000000000000000000000000

COME TO QUARK'S, COME HAVE FUN! COME TO QUARK'S, DON'T WALK, RUN!

Lost Tribble, if found, please contact Lt. Worf.

Felix's holoprograms! Interactive quality.

Looking for stable Delta Quadrant/Alpha Quadrant wormhole. Please contact Kathryn Janeway.

COME TO QUARK'S, COME HAVE FUN! COME TO QUARK'S, DON'T WALK, RUN!

Shuttle rental.

Book your spaceflights with us!

Come to Risa!

Get a better deal on Risa with Priceline! (it's me! Kirk!)

COME TO QUARK'S, COME HAVE FUN! COME TO QUARK'S, DON'T WALK, RUN!


End file.
